Some years ago a Dutch girl who saw me perform with my band asked me out. When we did the mail/SMS/social media dance to get to know each other a bit before the first date, I noticed a lot of Middle Eastern books, music and artists listed among her likes. I even asked her when we met, is my Middle-Eastern background a turn on for you? No, she assured me, I think you’re interesting and I like you as a perfomer. Sometime later that evening we were kissing on her couch while listening to various songs on a playlist she’d put on. One of the tracks that came up had a voice singing My lovely Arab Boy, My sweet sweet Arab Boy. She looked at me in horror, saying she’d added the song ironically and had forgotten to remove it.

Though I laughed it off at the time, I noticed some of the girls I’d dated before or since had a “taste” for Middle Eastern men. Some were frank about it, others assured me it was a statistical fluke, and even if for years they’d only dated Arabic, Turkish and Iranian men, it’s because they kept running into interesting specimens. Honestly, there was no fetish there.

Preferences for types are real of course. You know if you love the bodies slender or voluptuous, buff or sleek, hair cropped or flowing, cheecks stubbled or smooth. But when a particular ethnicity becomes a turn on, how do we keep our dates from feeling they’re reduced to a kink or a fetish? (though some of us don’t mind being on the receiving end of a fetish from time to time.) One obvious group that has borne the brunt of the world’s fetishes are far Asian women. There’s few sex sites that don’t have a separate section named after them. If you think Asian women should welcome the attention, have a look at this site featuring some amazing(ly stupid) remarks sent to Asian women online.

Asian obsession


Now the best remedy against a segment of the world’s societies being reduced to helpless porcelain dolls is not to play the hero in need but to listen to some wonderfully intelligent voices on this issue. Here’s a performance poetry piece that starts off with Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling’s depiction of her Asian characters:

If you liked her piece, make sure to listen to the equally intelligent follow up video she made commenting on some points of criticism she’d received on the original piece.

While not written or performed as a critique of the perception of Asian women this rap track breaks the stereotype of the demure Asian girl simply by existing. Warning, this video will offend a bunch of you:

But wait, these are examples of Western raised Asian women. Surely they are not representative of Asian women in the home countries? Think again. A great article we were forwarded describes an entire class of unmarried women in their mid to late twenties who are tired of being labled leftover women. A simple bit of wordplay trickery turns the Chinese word for leftover woman into victorious woman. A word that has since caught on in books, magazines, TV-series and films.\

For a great read go to the original articles on the New York Times or Jezebel.